I’m partial to texting. Very partial, I hate talking on the phone, so whenever I call someone they know that it’s usually important. Read about a boy. So my friend knew that when I called her last night it was about my latest crush or someone in that category. I know you’re probably thinking “Um aren’t you on the wrong side of twenty-five? Why do you still have crushes?” Crushes are great because they are a fantasy and as I fiction writer I try to spend as much time as I could in that realm. Helps my writing, but hinders my emotional growth. I have the emotional maturity of a sixteen year old girl, when it comes to romantic relationships. I will offer sage advice in the areas of career, health and education, even politics. Romance? You’re better off with a magic eight-ball.
Please try again in about 15 years. Well I called my friend to outline a certain situation involving a new guy in my life and she gave me her take on it. She insisted that the guy must totally be into me because he did so and so and said this and that. I hung up with her feeling very positive about this new guy, but I wasn’t satisfied. I needed to call in the big guns or is it top gun? Whatever. Anyway I called my best friend of nineteen years.
Yup she’s been with me from when I began to want to kiss boys instead of hit them. I summarized the situation and she flat out told me ” Juliet, NO! Stop, cease and desist. This is a Frank Fudge situation.” Frank Fudge, obviously the name has been changed, was a boy I had a crush on from the fifth grade until the seventh grade and it only ended because he was a year ahead of us and went off to high school. I devised elaborate schemes to get his attention and have him notice me. The last and final one involved her putting my love letter to him in the boys’ bathroom. Unfortunately she was caught and looked like the guilty love sick culprit as I hid in the corner. Of course she’s forgiven me, but she’s hasn’t forgotten and when my head is stuck in the clouds she simply has to say “Frank Fudge” and I snap right out of it and it’s back to reality. Of course that is until I receive another dimpled smile.
How do you guys deal with crushes?